Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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