I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
