i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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