3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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