Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I touched a dick in church today
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
