I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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