when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
