O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
