In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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