The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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