I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
