I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
