People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
