hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I wish i was in the wii world.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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