U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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