The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
