Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He better not be in your backpack
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
