3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
