I heard we made out
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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