i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize