I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
