i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
