Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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