We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
