My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
