I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
