we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
