so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
