I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
