It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
