I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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