A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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