guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
