Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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