Buhtt sex?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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