If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
