Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
