I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
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So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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