yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
