They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You are a genius and a whore.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
