he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize