Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize