The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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