i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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