She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
