I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
