Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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