Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
