16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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