your parents love me but you hate me
North Korea, Best Korea!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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