walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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