i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
