At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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