I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
