Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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