He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
