Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Randomize
