I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
