loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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