Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
