Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize