And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
