i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize