Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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