It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
