i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
